Just Married

It's wedding season hooray! Getting dressed up, sitting through the vows, shaking hands with strangers, and then....FREE FOOD AND DRINKS! Beware those of you who are getting married though: You have no idea what you are marrying into. Yes, things seem fine now with your spouses family, but wait until that golden cylinder slides across that finger. The in-laws now have free reign to mettle, butt-in, mouch, come over, and every other intrusive thing you would never think that a person would ever bother with. Luckily my in-laws are cool as crap, but you may not be so lucky just like stickman.

CARPE DIEM

Carpe diem means "seize the day" and each of us should live each day like crazy. When we are young we feel like nothing can stop us and we will live virtually forever, but I'm here to tell you that I have no idea where the past 15 years went. I remember graduating high school, and then I woke up a 34 yr old married, two kid, two car, occupation slave. And by slave, I mean that everything I do, I do for my kids and wife because they are best thing that has ever happened to me. Even though I feel age creeping in on me faster than a blind man falling off a cliff I relish the opportunity of growing old and realizing that I must enjoy it all.

baseball

Baseball is a great sport, but such a downer on the ego. Succeeding only 30 percent of the time is horrible in anything else in life except when batting. If you only answered 30 percent of your test questions correctly your parents would've beaten your butt. When at work if you messed up 70 percent of the time, you would be fired. But in baseball if you get a hit three out of ten times, you recieve a multi-year, multi-million dollar contract. Just doesn't seem right does it? (CAN YOU NOTICE THE HINT OF JEALOUSLY)

trading places

The magical genie of the lamp scenario has crossed the minds of everyone in the world, and no one could convince me otherwise. Rubbing that bottle, being granted three wishes, and living a carefree life is a whimsical and farfetched idea, but a it sure is a good one. I have no idea what I would wish for, but giving my luck everything that I would wish for would be misconstrued and I'd end up on the face of the dollar bill, held by a hobo who is sticking me in the rear end of a sweaty fat stripper. When in fact I wished to 1) made of money 2) live a carefree life 3) and swallowed my women.

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!

DIRECTIONS

I would rather drive 30 miles in the wrong direction in a snowstorm than stop and ask for directions. My wife, on the other hand, would rather call me and complain about how terrible my directions are, or how Google must've not updated their mapquest. She once called me, told me she was lost, and when I asked her to tell me a landmark, she said, "Some powerlines, and a dirt road."
Little word to the wise: When travelling, powerlines and dirtroads are the greatest of landmarks.
Look don't be a jackleg like me. Stop and get directions, or be smart enough to follow the blue line on your smart phone.

Swamp People

For everyone who might happen to see this: I live about a half hour from where this show is filmed and I don't sound, act, or drive a boat to work like the characters do on Swamp People. They are just a bit of our diverse culture in Louisiana. Those guys work hard for a living but the rest of our state shouldn't be pigeonholed into that same stereotype. Personally, I'm scared to death of alligators, and wouldn't want to be anywhere near one of those things. But after a month of teaching at the school I work at, I say the same thing about my students!
WE DON'T HAVE TO UNDERSTAND OTHER CULTURES BUT WE SHOULD RESPECT THEM.

exercise

I can't stand up straight and touch my toes, so I've never been dumb enough to try a yoga session. But instead, I go eat yogurt because when I hear the word yoga it reminds me of yogurt. I guess to each their own. Happy exercising or happy eating, they both release endorphins so you have no choice to be happy.